Of Broken Bones and Flavored Chalk
by IvoryDrum
Summary: A dialogue fic, now with two completely unrelated chapters. Ch. 2, "Family Rule Number 52. Any injury requiring more than 10 stitches or the elevation of a limb is hereby considered a 'No Topside' injury and cannot, therefor, be referred to as merely a 'scratch.'"
1. Chapter 1

You didn't expect me to be serious for ever, did you? This is just for shiggles (shits and giggles, isn't it beautiful?). Purely dialogue, simply because I felt like it and I've never done a dialogue only fic.

**Disclaimer:** Today, I rescued my roommate's sock from the hallway, and I still don't own the Ninja Turtles. MLIA.

* * *

"This is his fifth time breaking those ribs, Raph! The fifth time!"

"So? Its jus' 'is ribs, ain't it? S'no big deal."

"Yes, it is a big deal. The more times you break a bone, the weaker the bone will be once it heals. If he doesn't allow himself adequate time to rest up and take it easy, then the next time he takes a kick to that area, the damage to his ribs will be worse. If they're weak enough and he's hit hard enough, he could take a rib to the lung!"

"You need to calm down."

"A rib to the lung, Raph. That would equal a punctured lung. He could _puncture his lung_! I can't fix that!"

"Well then instead of gettin' all worked up about it, why don'tcha jus' go strap 'im to his futon an' tell 'im ta stay?"

"That's not a bad idea."

"I was kiddin', Sir Geeks-A-Lot. Why can't you jus' tell 'im ta drink more milk or som'in?"

"He's already taking vitamin supplements, Raph. We all are. Which reminds me- you haven't come to me about a refill yet."

"…how often am I supposed to need a refill?"

"I have a feeling that I shouldn't tell you because you'll abuse the knowledge. Have you not been taking the vitamins that I gave you?"

"What happened ta talkin' about Fearless and his oh-so-breakable ribs?"

"If you don't start taking those vitamins, I'll be forced to start giving you shots instead."

"Not gonna happen."

"And If I find any in the trash, you can kiss the upgrades to your Shell Cycle goodbye!"

"But that's not fair! How would ya even know they were mine?"

"What do you mean how would I even though they were yours?"

"I mean, we all throw ours away, 'cept for Splinter."

"…what?"

"You know what those things taste like, Donnie? Shit flavored chalk. That's what. Nothin' tropical fruity about 'em. I took one and I think it almost killed me."

"…"

"Have your eyes always twitched like that?"

"Raph?"

"Yeah bro?"

"After I finish tying Leo to his bed, I'm coming for you."

"Don, if you come within twen'y feet of me with rope in your hand, I will hog-tie your death-wishin' shell to your bo and hang you off of one of the pipes in the dojo."

* * *

Have I lost my funny mojo? I just think that the relationship between Donnie and Raph is so cute! Mos' def' my favorite brotherly interaction pair.

Leave a review? Should there be more dialogue only fics in my future?


	2. Family Rule Number 52

My email told me that a few people have favorited or followed this odd little dialogue fic. Initially, I was surprised. Of course I was pleased, but in the back of my head I thought, "there was no plot, there's no continuing. It's done." Cut to a few years later and what, in my wandering mind doth appear than a few lines of dialogue. Well honey, just a few lines of dialogue is how this all started. Dialogue, laziness, and a deep desire to not be doing what I should have been doing. And so I give you Ch. 2, for all intents and purposes. Completely unrelated to the first chapter, featuring all four brothers, and laying dormant on my "TMNTfic" split doc for a month or so.

Please enjoy, as I did.

**Disclaimer: I own no version of the TMNT besides the ones that reside in my heart. Awwwww. Except not even those because like I could ever come up with Ninja. Turtles of all things, honestly. **

* * *

**Family Rule Number 52: **

"Why can't I go? S'just a scratch."

"We've talked about this Raph. Family Rule number 52: Any injury requiring more than 10 stitches or the elevation of a limb is hereby considered a 'No Topside' injury and cannot, therefor, be referred to as merely a 'scratch!'"

"Yeah dude, what you've got there is a full blown boo boo!"

"Oh I'll give you a boo boo knucklehead."

"Why is the stitches rule so far down on the Family Rules list? I feel like we have the scratch versus wound conversation every other day."

"No, Raph and I have the scratch versus wound conversation every other day. You are merely a spectator. And the reason it's so far down on the list is because the first twenty rules or so are from before we started going topside, and then it's all the stuff we aren't supposed to do topside, and then it's all the stuff that prevents us from going topside. Like injuries requiring more than ten stitches."

"Aw, lay off it genius."

"Excuse me, but are we going to ignore the fact that Raph willing said the phrase 'boo boo' a second ago?"

"Raph do you have a concussion? I thought you checked him!"

"Definitely no topside tonight, Raphie."

"Shoulda just kept your mouth shut bro bro. I'll bring you a rooftop pebble or something. If you rub it between your toes maybe you'll remember what sweet airborne freedom feels like."

"That's enough, Mikey. Let's go. Don, we'll meet you in the garage in 5."

"Please let me kill him."

"Which one?"

"Mikey. No, Leo. No, both!"

"Maybe if you cooperate I'll consider it."

"But I already said please! How many times do I gotta say it? Five? Please please please please please!"

"So help me Raphael I will duct tape your mouth shut and leave you to the mercy of Master Splinter and his two hour soaps block if you do not shut up and lay down."

"What is it with you and all these bondage threats, huh? Kinda weird Don. You gotta find a different way to express yourself. Hey, where you goin'?"

"You brought this under your own volition."

"Don't even think about it, genius. I swear on my shell I will ruin you in practice tomorrow! Rui-mmmph!"

"This was probably worth it."

* * *

I just love Donnie and Raph, okay? I'm a complete sucker for that duo. Now tell me, could you tell the brother's apart? I tried to make it obvious but there's really no pattern to follow at first and I know I, personally, have some trouble if it doesn't start out simply.

Also, if you find that you enjoy dialogue fics, you should check out Spawn Guy. His is hilarious and just plain cute, and I do think, now that I've actually paused to think, that his work was what initially inspired me to try my hand. It's called "Mock Turtle Soup." Added bonus, it's long!


End file.
